I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
