i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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