He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
