Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
