i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
