You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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