you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
