You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
