There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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