Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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