Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
