I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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