I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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