last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
