We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
