i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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