He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
