Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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