bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
