your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
