We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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