Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want to make out with him forever
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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