he thought i was a dude.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
