I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
