That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
