The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
