I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
