Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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