His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
