Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
