well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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