His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
