Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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