Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
