Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"

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(718): View more from New York

im getting my college education on yahoo answers.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

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(347): View more from New York

Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

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(678): View more from Georgia

Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.

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(406): View more from Montana

He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night

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(815): View more from Illinois

remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever

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