Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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