The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
