I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
