This is not my ceiling
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
