Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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