Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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