This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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