in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
