Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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