You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
