I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I wear drunk well.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
