Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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