No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
