Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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