I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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