I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
