last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dicks are not precious.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
