i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
