...so i touched it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
