She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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