I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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