Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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